According to O/our experience there is always more Doms present in these gathering then subs. - Play party (private or public): The public party is often advertised on the net or in specialized magazines. This is the problem with these parties; many people go to these parties but many P/players don't. Except for a very few places, there is not enough intimacy for many P/players, so T/they prefer to go to private parties.
To make things worse, often the P/people who go to these parties, go with P/partners already.
If you want to find a good male sub, just be patient and make them wait until you are ready, time will purify the quality of these prospects.
When your future master will collar you, it will be the time to follow order but if your are looking for a male dom, a strange as it seemed, keep the control of the discussion with the future male Dom, your safety demands it!
If you are a female DOM, well, this is not a problem....:) Remember, many men want the play NOW!!!!
Maybe the lady cashier at grocery is a Dom, or the gentlemen who lives across the street is a sub, just keep your eyes peeled. For ads, make sure that you put an ad with exactly what you need and want in it. And often the ones who "come out of the closet" are just looking for a fast cheap thrill.
Unless there is something very unusual about you, male Doms are going to line up to meet you. If you go to munches or play parties and you make it obvious that you are not accompanied by a Dom, male Doms looking for a partner will line up to see and talk to you because there are always lots of single male Doms present at these events. So be careful, ads works well, but many male subs are not serious.
But gentlemen, if you don't meet that goddess in a public place for the first time, how can She trust you in play, when you don't want to do your part in the first meeting! If a switch, male or female gets with a non-switch partner, problems may arise when the switch wants to change sides. But again, a relationship between a switch and a non-switch is possible with good results...at U/us; Pierre is male Dom and Catharine(katy) is a female switch....:) Well ladies, in the BDSM lifestyle YOU are the one who decides on the partner whether Y/you're a Dom, a sub or a switch.
If Y/you put an ad, just be patient and replies will pour in. Remember, to be safe and find the proper partner that you need. By the way, you could be a very small woman or a BBW (Big and Beautiful Woman) there is a male looking for you, so YOU CAN choose.
Now, let's see how a logical search for a P/partner goes; The goal of this search is to get a discussion going between the prospect partner and Y/you. But remember usually the L/ladies just have to wait for an answer to their ads while M/men have to do the initial contact.
From there, Y/you may have a chance to have something that will go further with this P/partner that has Y/your interest. To put an ad, it is usually free, but to be able to answer an ad, Y/you have to pay. Sometimes a L/lady will answer an ad but this is NOT the usual.
- Chat rooms: Many, many people play in cyber on chat rooms.
Nothing wrong with that, but many people, men and women, are not ready to do the real thing.
For security and social reasons, women are less likely to "come out of the closet" as BDSM players. There are many many male subs for every female Domme, W/we have heard estimates of as high as 100 to 1.