So they often parrot off clichés like “you'll meet the right one when you least expect it” and “you'll find him when you aren't looking.” When you're on this emotional roller coaster, these well meaning statements are enough to make you want to cold clock someone in the face.
How exactly do you even meet anyone if you aren't looking?
While it is a universal experience to want someone to share your life with, your value is not determined by your success or failure at searching for a mate.
While it can be fun to go on a bunch of dates with different people, it can also make you feel like you're floating alone on your own little island of solitude.
For happily married people, the trials of meeting a mate are ancient history that they've completely glossed over.
When you strongly view yourself as a whole person who is looking for someone to share your life with, it takes away some of the fear that they won’t like you, that your destiny is hanging on this outing, and that if they don’t approve of you, you are back to square one.
So many people carry around the same negative thoughts about their desirability.
For whatever reason, you were not right for someone else. It is easy to get hung up on the “whys” behind their decision, but dwelling on them doesn’t change the reality.
If you aren’t right for someone else, they aren’t right for you.I could let myself off the hook and let the dating experiences just be what they were instead of tying my ego to them.When I stopped hanging so much of my feelings on these experiences, I started meeting completely different people than ever before.I could either continue to view my dating experiences as abysmal failures that reflected poorly upon my self-worth and keep letting my self-esteem circle the drain.Or, I could manage my attitudes about my relationships in general and take a whole different approach to dating.No wonder I felt horrible and had lots of go-nowhere relationships. Then, just like the lifespan of my favorite bras, the support system failed and the underwire started digging in.