After blacking out and losing their friends, the two of them spent a whirlwind afternoon hopping from tent to tent, making out in public, and posting approximately 200,000 Instagrams together with captions like #soulmates and #festivallove.
By the end of the night one, they decided they were in love, but are separated when Barbie’s drunk AF friends finally find her and Skipper pukes on his shoes.
Between never texting back and sending her Facebook invites for his improv shows, this Ken will somehow manage to take up a year and half of Barbie’s precious time.
Barbie will then spend the next 20 minutes deleting all the evidence of their affair and will miss Chance The Rapper’s set because she was so pissed. And by “dated” I mean "would hook up with him every weekend and get in public fights at the campus Starbucks during the week." Despite the fact that he and Barbie have attended every frat and sorority event together and she’s spent the past three 4th of Julys at the beach with his family, Ken refuses to let Barbie say that she is his girlfriend and regularly attempts to slide into her friend’s DMs.
Barbie will finally become his girlfriend after Ken sees her at the club breathing next to another guy and loses his shit.
Now, the company is looking to do the same for Ken, except this time it appears their theme was less about "diversity" and more about "dudes who would snap you a dick pic after one meeting." Somebody at Mattel clearly took those Romp Him ads to heart.
I wouldn't be surprised if each one of these new dolls came with a voice box that said stuff like, "I'm sure I have a condom somewhere," and "She's like a sister to me!
She’ll entertain the idea of marrying him but then they’ll talk for five minutes and she’ll be like “fuck that” and hook up with one of his friends instead.
This happens once a year and Barbie kind of loves it.
To her horror, Barbie woke up the day after their “casual” hookup to find him standing over her bed with a three course breakfast and a look that said, “I want to wear your skin, my beautiful, beautiful bride.” Barbie will spend the next three years ghosting this guy, always thinking that she’s done with him until one morning out of the blue she gets a random text that says “wat went wrong? They’ll meet again 10 years in the future when he shows up out of nowhere to object at her wedding.
Barbie and all of her friends have at least had some kind of romantic encounter with this Ken. Every pregame Barbie’s friend group will gather together and see who got a DM from him this weekend. usually go along with it because he’s actually pretty fun to hang out with and it’s not that serious.
After two full hours of chatting about the meaning of life, Barbie hit him with a “Do you want to come back to my place?
” to which he'll reply, “Actually I don’t do that but I’d love to invite you to come to church with me on Sunday.” Then Barbie will jump off the roof and die.
Barbie only agreed to go out with this Ken after a particularly enlightening drunk brunch where she promised her entire friend group she was done with fuckboys and would only date nice guys from now on.