And while it's not the end of the world to date someone who holds his or her ego in high regard — after all, studies show this may make them more likely to go to the gym and land leadership positions at work — a bit too much narcissism in a relationship can spell serious disaster.
To most people, a “narcissist” is just someone vain and self-absorbed, a man or woman obsessed with their appearance and confident to the point of arrogance. They might well be suffering from a psychiatric disorder called Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) — and to someone dating them and trying to win some of the love the narcissist keeps for him or herself, that can be a real problem. It’s estimated to affect at least one person in 100, both men and women.
They might later admit to having seen plenty of red flags but because the illusion of the narcissist’s great qualities is so vivid, they tend to be ignored: “[T]he normal mind cannot grasp that someone who showed so much love, affection, attention, and tenderness could turn so cruel and vicious under any circumstances let alone without provocation of any kind,” says Anonymous. I couldn’t believe that what I was experiencing was real.
The ugliness only came out after many, many months of no ‘red flags.’” Although people with co-dependent tendencies are more likely to stay longer with a narcissist, even the most self-confident person can end up with one, if only for a short time.
But there is a clear pattern and once you meet one narcissist, you meet them all. will take you from the start of the disorder to identifying it and then to breaking up and moving on with your life.
If you’re single and dating then learning about NPD is vital. Once you have the knowledge you will more easily be able to take the right action, which is always to break up quickly and completely.
You must know what you are dealing with in order to get out of the relationship quickly, pick up the pieces and move on. There is no way to fix or improve the behavior of a narcissist. You may think that breaking up with a narcissist will put the end to this suffering and that the end is as simple — or no more difficult — than any other breakup. You can expect the narcissist to: Break up with a narcissist and you can expect to see rude comments about you posted on Facebook or Twitter. They’ll badmouth you to your friends, threaten you or people close to you or even your business, and try to sue you or seek other ways to get revenge. I’m an imposition to be tolerated.” (Notes On a Scandal) It helps to heal when you can more clearly understand that the person who charmed and romanced you is in fact a sick and emotionally dangerous person.
You can expect the narcissist to try to make your life a living hell a much as he or she can: “Oh, I’m to be “handled”, am I? Narcissists are difficult to get rid of because breaking up with them means that they have no external supply of admiration.
Any attention you give them lets them believe that you’re ready to give them more.
That’s why you have to cease communication with the narcissist immediately and completely.
“mytvc15” of Cleveland, OH, described herself on Amazon as a “confident and happy person”“I was reeling, sobbing, confused and humiliated at the hands of a classic narcissist.