I ignored it until I could do so no longer, until eventually, for what felt like the sake of my sanity, I resolved to do something about it.A late arrival into the world of social media, I nevertheless embraced it as a kind of escape.
Having recently tried to find good cybersex myself, I see why it's taking them so long. In the olden days, you could find chat rooms where adults bantered, flirted and seduced one another in a supportive community.
People developed relationships that ranged from casual friendship to erotic involvement to love affairs.
The problem is that it's hard to figure out exactly what researchers mean when they talk about online sex addiction.
To me, porn and cybersex are such completely different animals, pursued for different reasons, that lumping them together doesn't give us any real answers about what people actually find addictive.
While my husband spent most evenings catching up on the horse racing he'd recorded over the weekend, I began perusing chatrooms – not in pursuit of cybersex necessarily, but initially more for harmless flirtation, a little virtual attention.
Soon, I was spending hours in the parallel universe of cyberspace, often through wonderfully wide-awake nights, uninhibited in a way I never could be in reality.What's so alluring about porn, or cybersex, that we cling to it in such massive numbers?Or is this just an obsession with the novelty of virtual sex, a rash of "addiction" that will wear itself out in the next few years? And I did, pretty much, and I was perfectly fine - until suddenly I wasn't.There were redundancy problems at work; my marriage was showing strains; and there was something large and unnameable missing from my life.Professor Aaron Ben-Ze'ev's book cites a number of examples of how cybersex has had positive effects for people, especially women, without downplaying the damage we can do to ourselves if we don't play it smart.